Longing. 

I have a longing for the way i used to view life before everything went down hill… i miss who i used to be and how i used to feel. I miss the family get togethers and the good memories we shared. I miss feeling happy every day and being appreciative about everything going on around me but now it’s all gone. 

I long for the feeling of unconditional love and happiness nowadays everything is gloomy. 

I long for the feeling of happiness. 

The one who falls in love with me

To the one who falls in love with me,

Good luck, or maybe I should begin by apologizing. Because I know it won’t be easy to love someone like me. Not everyday. Not unconditionally. Certainly, there will be days where every word that comes out of my mouth will be cotton-spun sugar, sweet poetic musing. On those days you won’t have to wonder what I’m thinking & I will talk too much & my dreams will outstretch reality & my restless legs will crap to go somewhere, to do something. You will have to tolerate affairs I have with the night, eyes throwing sparks, fingers trembling as I release the fire inside of me.

Then there will be days when I clam up, say nothing. You will ask what’s wrong & I won’t know. On those days I will weep over invented tragedies, like how the trees appear so vulnerable, naked & spindly without their leaves. I will mourn the loss of the Transatlantic accent & the disappearance of honeybees. But if I’m crazy, & I just may be, it’s only in the best way. I won’t hesitate to tell you how over the moon I am. How complete I am. How nothing made sense before you. How I need you, all of you, every cell of your being, every firing synapse. No pressure.

On all days, I imagine, you will find me completely overwhelming. But I hope you will love that about me.

Disappointment 

We all know the feeling of being disappointed, you put your trust in that person and they completely let you down. 

I go through this everyday. I get let down by people who mean the most to me and the worst part is that i don’t think they realise it. 

We need to learn to be there for one another, to look at each other, make a promise and stick to it. There are way too many empty promises in this world and we keep making more every day. 

This has to stop, we need to be there for each other and not disappoint one another. 

Broken. 

It’s the worst feeling, the feeling of being broken. 

It feels like you’ll never recover, you’ll never be the same person ever again no matter what happens. You feel emotional all the time and it feels like you’re alone in this world and that is a horrible feeling. You want to be who you used to be but deep inside you know you’ll never be the same. The cuts get deeper the more you think about your pain and it feels like… 

You will never be the same, you are broken. 

Attention. 

Is it just me or are we all attention seeking creatures? 

We all want attention, some less than others but we still want love and care and of course attention from our loved ones, our friends or our significant others but not all of us receive the attention we need, some of us are neglected and mistreated and we don’t all get what we deserve. 

Karma. 

I believe that if you decide to be a fake or two-faced person who lies to your friends or humiliate them, then karma will eventually catch up to you. 

I can’t stand fake people who are just your friend to talk about you behind your back. The sad part is that the world is full of fake people and we don’t know who we can really trust and who not, then we ask why people have trust issues but it’s clear that we can’t trust everyone. 

-And that’s sad. 

Letting go

When do we know it’s time to let go? 

It’s never easy to let go of something or someone you love, it’s often found that we don’t let go, not completely. 

How could we let go of something that once made us happy but is now poisoning us? It hurts to realise when something isn’t good for you anymore but it is a good thing to make that mental breakthrough and make a change ~ which is the thing most of us find hard, we find it hard to make the change in our thoughts and emotions. It’s hard to have the thought ‘maybe it’s time to let go’. 

Love or Lust? 

Love (n.)

  1. A strong feeling of affection 
  2. A great interest and pleasure in something 


Verb

  1. Feel deep affection for someone

So how do we know whether we are loved or lusted after? I see it this way.. 

If this person that you love with all your heart gives you their everything every day, this means they love you, they will flip the world upside down for you and give you their undivided attention when they can. This is what i love seeing, i love seeing someone that will give their everything to one person, stand by you, support you, take care of you even when you push them away. Don’t worry if you haven’t found this love yet, it will happen. 

Lust on the other hand… is when someone loves the way you look and what You do for Them, this is the difference. Of course when someone loves you they want to be loved back but if someone lusts after you they only care about what you do for them not about what they do for you, they don’t care about your feelings, they only care about their own. 

So are you loved or lusted after? 

Do you love or do you lust? 


    The Unknown. 

    We know diving into the unknown is scary, like taking on a new challenge or starting and new job… 

    We’ve all had moments where we had to take a chance and just take on the unknown. It’s almost like starting a new relationship, in the beginning you don’t really know this person or maybe you’ve known them for years but perhaps you don’t know the real them, their anger and pain and you don’t know what gets them so angry they just see red. This to me, is scary. 

    The unknown is amazing to some people they like the excitement of not knowing what to expect but this is not for everyone and of course we all have different views, understandably. 

    Not all of us have the courage to take on something we know nothing about not all of us can just dive in and feel confident about our decision – but this is sometimes how we grow and learn things about ourselves we never knew before.